this is why you have me as a single friend – so we can laugh about the ridiculousness of singles. we would not have as many laughs if i weren’t. trust me.
so this evenings blog is really about “how i wish i could respond on dating sites”…let’s begin
hye gorgus…cant stop thinking of u. u wnat to hook up?
no, no i don’t. obviously you didn’t read that faith part of my whole profile thing. super. oh yes, and that masters in your title either (a) isn’t true or (b) you paid someone to get it.
hey, great getting to know you. let’s talk via phone?
sure sounds great! here’s my number & i’m available after 5 any night this week.
ok great can’t wait
hey can’t wait to talk how’s your day?
super! yes, me to.
why haven’t we talked yet?
again, that masters in your profile i was assuming meant a higher level of education. obviously i am the one mistaken. read men for the love of all holy things READ.
[26th message to each other…]
sure great to getting to know each other
yes, it is. i enjoy going outside & doing outside things too though. i’m pretty sure you mentioned you like coffee, yes? going to any coffee places that are cool anytime soon?
oh yea, me & my bros are heading to this awesome coffee place tomorrow – i’ll tell you all about it!
spectacular. i’ve always wondered what a pen pal would be like.
i own my own business & sometimes cross moral boundaries to make a buck
i’m sorry…perhaps you have me confused with some other woman that doesn’t care about herself or see herself as God’s child created for something amazing in this life. thank you for making it perfectly clear we should never see each other again. ever.
i love rock concerts and loving God.
and you look great doing those things might i add. should i tell you now or later that it takes everything within me to sit thru some of the rock songs?? would it be so bad for you to date someone who doesn’t love rock concerts??? let’s just ponder that whilst we go on a few dates.
how was your weekend?
it was awesome!! probably had a few too many drinks last night – as i don’t remember anything. man i really had way too many. so much drinking!
[crickets]. we’ve been messaging for weeks now. my patience with men overall is at about a 2.5. you either live out what you say you believe or you don’t. slip ups happen, but no. i won’t marry a drunk. i have too freaking many in my life already. my husband won’t increase that number.
perfect on paper…
dear perfect on paper, i’m so sorry. you seem so amazing. here’s the truth though. i am human & therefore can’t see myself marrying someone who looks 55. because that’s about my dad’s age. the fact that you say you’re 38 & yet you look like 55 makes me even more nervous. will you look like 80 when you’re 55?? these superficial things scare the crap out of me. you’ll find that perfect girl somewhere. it won’t be me, but somewhere. here’s two thumbs up for trying though! sincerely, #imahorribleperson
i love God. i love adventure. i am an outgoing introvert. i just love people, and i’d really like getting to know you.
dear mr. wonderful, please write me back. i know i sound pathetic, but you have no idea the crap i’ve been thru on this site. please be normal, fun, authentic, sincere, and a man of genuine faith just like you appear in your profile. that’s all i ask. sincerely, #thinkingofbecominganun