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humbled
it’s not until you’re around selfless people for 5 days straight that you realize how selfish & self-focused you truly are. that’s how i felt this past week anyhow while i was in orange county with my family.
my cousins & family are amazing. i mean, truly God-given amazing. they could be angels and just not know it. ‘t’ is turning 24 this week & ‘e’ is turning 21 in april. they are beautiful both inside & out. their mother (my mom’s sister) is just as great.
they don’t care what they have – they give without hesitation. they also graciously receive.
t is married to aj – who fits right in with the fam. he is young, and full of aspirations and vigor. his momma taught him well on manners and chivalry. i couldn’t imagine a better man for my sweet, sweet cousin.
‘e’ is single, in college, and could put any girl in hollywood to shame with her style. she was in the grocery store & said ‘do you notice how everyone here dresses trendy?’ it’s like she doesn’t even know how she comes across. that’s what i love about her. she doesn’t see what’s on the outside, but the inside when getting to know you.
i found myself questioning every shirt, every pant, even shoes wondering if she’d think they were ‘cool’. then i remembered she didn’t invite me on the trip because of my awesome wardrobe collection (of 1 pair of jeans, 14 t-shirts, and 4 skirts i trade out days for work). i would have been last on the ‘trendy’ invite list obviously. it was hard as she is truly one of those people that looks good in everything. she loves & looks at the hearts of people only. how i love this child.
when it was time to say good-bye to my amazing family, my aunt hugged me & said ‘thanks for coming! it wouldn’t have been as great without you’. wow. what love. they didn’t have to invite me. they had nothing to gain from me being there. in fact, my aunt & new uncle paid for everything. they didn’t want my advice on life, they didn’t need to have an extra person there… they just wanted me – my presence with them. just like how we can’t give anything but thanks to God – He wants our presence with our whole hearts.
i am humbled by their love. may i love like they have.
mama c
it’s mama c’s birthday today!!! happy birthday mama c!!! let’s see here – so nuni (my grandma) turns 29 tomorrow so my mama must be 27 today as i’m holding fast to 26 (giggle, giggle).
fun quotes from mama c throughout my years:
“oh just kiss him – kissing fixes all sorts of issues”
“if you involve people in the event they will cherish it like it was their own”
“you just need a man – or a drink. probably both would do you well”
“ok! who’s up for a party?! i am!”
[singing] “dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt – da. dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt – da” – which is her happy dance tune while dancing like she’s in one of those mexican samba lines.
“what are you talking about? every day’s my birthday!”
“picture?! great! i want to be in the middle!”
“sorry. you probably called just to vent. another moment for unsolicited advice.”
and finally…the two main concepts about mama c that you must know:
- always have chocolate in the house when she visits
- don’t talk to her before she finishes her second cup of jo
here’s to my lovely mom that makes life so much more humorous than anyone can - happy birthday!
lovely
‘you must be in love’…my mother used to tell me this whenever my stomach would get upset (as it seems i’m allergic to much in the food area yet i still indulge). if this were true, i must have been in love an awful lot throughout the years. perhaps she was right though. i found this quote & thought it was interesting:
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. ~ G. K. Chesterton
i recently, this evening, downloaded sense and sensibility from itunes. it of course didn’t play correctly, but i was able to watch one of my favorite scenes from it:
[elinor] there is no question, that is, there is no understanding…I do not attempt to deny that I think very highly of him – that I greatly esteem him… I like him.
he will always regret you ~ elinor dashwood
the very last scene with elenor’s love, e.c. farris, oh that was always my fairytale
my heart is, and always will be, yours. ~ edward farris
life is, however, very much not a fairytale. now we have online dating and awkward blind dates to tide us over. we have dating / non-dating / casual dating / etc. all of which take a great deal of energy to endure – all worthy yet exhausting.
tonight i’m laying in bed watching this movie because i have yet again a stomach ache. am i in love? ha, oh no. however, lying here in pain and thinking of my mother telling me love must be close does makes this a lovely night for a lovely movie.
and for that piece of me that might possibly like the unknown of what is to come…
somewhere, beyond the sea
somewhere, waiting for me
my lover stands on golden sand
and watches the ships that go sailing
intriguing
last night i had dinner with the most fabulous couple – they have been married now 32 years. wow! kudos!!
we were talking about relationships in general & they pointed out that i have many guy friends. what they said next i found hilarious & intriguing.
i never hung out with a member of the opposite sex unless it was to make out with them…[or get to know if i wanted to make out with them which didn't take much time] ~ aj (emphasis my interpretation of the next words he said)
never? never ever? i would have about 98.9% of my friends gone if i lived like that. however, it does sound appealing.
they equated God’s pursuit of us & also our relationship with Him to relationships (no surprise there), but in a refreshing light. like there’s nothing that’s going to stop God from pursing me. nothing at all. He loves me and therefore i can trust Him wholeheartedly. so if a guy isn’t willing to be bold with me & pursue me then how can than trust be there?
a selfless love, bc. that’s what Christ has for us & that’s what we’re called to live out in marriage. the kind that says ‘ i want the best for you & i will put aside all else to have you’. ~ aj
i want that so bad. i want to live out in friendships & relationships a selfless love – as that’s what love is. greater love has no man than he that would lay down himself for a friend ~ JC
going back to the many guy friends thing – i’m not one to go cold turkey on this, but perhaps scaling it back a bit & nurturing the fabulous female friendships in my life is needed. start freeing your calendars gals as this social butterfly needs to fly!
always
oh…sometimes i crack myself up. the messes i get myself into! ok, so all the time i crack myself up…it’s delightful.
i know i’ve mentioned this before, but last night was just too funny not to mention again. i love my job – the good, the bad, the ugly – all of it. love it. the most humorous aspect of my job is really the people i work with. 4 married women with multiple kids & grandkids. they crack me up. specifically when it comes to me & men. they just don’t know how to comprehend a single woman in today’s society i think. like they think i am a recluse or something that never gets out & thus the reason i must be single. so they do their due diligence to ‘help’ me. always. without fail. they try.
if we leave the office doors & go out in public i can always count on them finding a man to try to set me up with.
last night proved this true yet again. we went to eat at a fabulous restaurant here in tulsa – the waterfront grill – as the president of our association was in town. the second the single male waiter said hello i realized i was in for it. my boss, who let’s just say…places me with the oddest men (ie: the usps guy who was not even 18 i’m fairly sure of – or her 45 yr old best guy friend who ‘has a great personality & you’re both single!’) ahahahah…ok i digress…so she starts in & for the next 2 hours this waiter is hitting on me – shamelessly – in front of everyone. i’m fairly sure they don’t make blush as red as my face was. we did get 3 free desserts out of the deal. i, of course being crazy, tried to bet him that i could eat a whole (extremely large) dessert on my own & if i did he would have to comp the whole meal. he didn’t fall for my web – good effort though.
after the harrassment, i asked my president if her office had single women that they tried to set random men up with. she said no. what?? this isn’t normal?? she said the single women in her office are always looking for men themselves – like some sort of predator. that’s hilarious. and sad. ahh…anyway, she looked at all of us & said ‘it’s obvious you’ve been together as a staff a long time – as you all have such fun together & know each other so well’. yes, yes we always do – and have. 8 1/2 years. 9 years come march. wow.
i’ve always been blessed with my career…and i’m fairly sure i will always believe the people i work with are phenomenal. always.
places
i love tulsa. in case any of you were wondering that. i love every aspect of it. i love the sunrises. i love the sunsets. i love the curvy back roads. i love our tree bridges. i love our neighborhoods. i love our evenings. i love our crazy weather (when not flying) that makes me so scared i take my roommate down to my parents house to seek shelter & we have to eat umberto’s pizza, drink wine & talk about past times.
yep, that’s where we stuck out the storm. it was heavenly.
during one part of the evening i received a phone call from a friend who called for completely other reasons, but in the end i sat on the stairs talking with them. as i sat there i realized how awkward it was i chose the stairs to sit at…i had to come thru the whole house just to get to the stairs. after i hung up, i sat there just enjoying the moment. the stairs are covered in this lush rich carpet & the night lights came thru the window making crisp light designs along the stairwell - it almost magical. i realized that was my place in their house.
there are certain places we enjoy hiding out at. most of the time it’s in my car to be honest. last night i was never so thankful to be where i was in that moment.
i pray this week you find more than a moment to sit in the place where God stills your heart & tells you everything is as it should be.
attractive
it’s such a fun topic – relationships that is. spring has come (& feels like gone with this heat) which means love is in full bloom. ahhh.
a friend recently reminded me of something i said a few months ago to one of our guys regarding asking a girl out:
it’s very unattractive for a guy to linger asking a girl out.
so that got me thinking this week. if i can think of unattractive attributes – what are the attractive ones? better yet, what are the attractive attributes that someone is looking for in me? i constantly think about this actually, but for some reason this wondering was different.
since i’ve been going thru proverbs this past month with my accountability partner, i went ahead & dove into proverbs 31. verse 10 says this:
an excellent wife, who can find? for her worth is far above jewels.
the hebrew word for excellent means ‘virtuous, someone who finds their strength from God’.
as i dwelt on the last part of this meaning, i got to thinking how true that is for anyone. someone who finds their strength from God is so attractive – they are humble, selfless, and giving. they pull from God rather than draining others. they listen. they learn. they yield. they act. they have faith. they are loving. they are beautiful.
the sad part about this verse is that it says who can find? i agree. i want to be a woman who get’s her strength from my walk with God. i want a man who get’s his strength from his walk with God. that. is. attractive.
