BC's Blog
keeping coffee shops in business one sip at a timeArchive for tulsa
failure
you know the old saying ‘those who can’t, teach’? well, i am a walking example of it this week.
for the past 6 months i was dared to find 6 dates with 6 different men. i did a fairly decent job of it if i do say so myself. except this month. this 6th month. i couldn’t even scrape up a pseudo-date. yet, i have couples every day asking my thoughts on whatever it is about their relationship. funny.
my two girlfriends that i was doing this 6 month challenge with however won hands down. they both are in relationships now that they are more than giddy over. which truly makes me grin from ear to ear with excitement. except now comes saturday.
saturday night is our big finale. i have no date. none. zip. zero. nada. oh sure, i could ask one of my guy friends, but that would ruin the fun of a date. it’s like going to dinner with your brother. fun, but not something you’d choose for a date night.
i still have 4 days. surely something – or someone – will come up…right? eek.
change
this probably has been one of the fastest weeks for me. a friend of mine asked what i had on my agenda this week, so i told him:
selling my house, planning the next 6 months of my life in detail, organizing a conference, moving, giving everything i own away, presenting, and finally flying to l.a.
he responded: see, now that’s the problem you have bc, too much time on your hands.
i told him even though it was through email i’m sure he could feel the flaming glare thru the screen. he said he did.
they say the two most stressful events in life are having kids and moving. i’ve never experienced the former, but i would tend to agree on the later.
the memories that were created in my house have made me who i am. in fact, my most favorite memories lay within the walls of that house (and porch). lifegroup, bocci ball, dinner parties, prayers, front porch time, hammock time, climbing the big magnolia tree in the back, wine nights, roommate times, c&b time, two-stepping lessons, indoor soccer, and so much more. i pray the new guy enjoys it just as much as i have.
so here i am. moving on like i do. another trip, another plane. another city. another set of adventures to be had. i’m scared to death.
holiday parties
i have this holiday party to go to next week. cider, holiday treats, holiday fun – oh yes, and i’m supposed to bring a date. this shouldn’t be that difficult. i mean, it’s just a date. a holiday date on top of that which is double pseudo-dateish. nonetheless, yesterday was pretty hilarious. here’s how a few (that’s right, multiple askings) went:
bc: so do you like christmas parties? i have a great one next saturday…
guy: Christmas parties yes. next sat no. it’s a lame date.
ok great. next!
bc: so there’s this thing next saturday & i think it should be fun…want to join?
guy: is there a single girl there you want to set me up with?
umm…no that would be just me.
bc: there’s a party. there will be no single men there. however, there’s no single men who don’t sound arrogant replying to your requests in town anyway or would be the very definition of awkward in this party circumstance . want to go?
bc: absolutely!
and that my friends is how i’m going to roll…solo. there are a few other gents that i think would be fun, but for the sake of what little ego i have left & the fact that i’m a tad burned out on dates…i think solo shall be grand for this particular evening. happy holiday parties to all.
beyond the sea
thanksgiving has come – and gone. the memories (and pounds) shall last forever though. i had the blessing of visiting my brother in st. thomas for a few days. how was it? just another day in paradise.
yep, this was my thanksgiving view. i loved it. here are a few other pics from the island (courtesy of one of the best bartenders around – mr. doug young.
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although it was paradise, it did have some drawbacks. the biggest one – the bugs. i think my blood must have some sort of magnet in it that draws bugs to bite me. i look as though i have chicken pox. yes, it’s that bad.
the best part though (besides being with family of course), was the last morning i met some really great locals & made some fabulous connections. one was from tulsa & even told me ‘i bet you’re ready to get back – tulsa is great’. yes, yes it is.
picnic
for 4 months i have gone to the store & starred – i mean really, truly, drooling type of stare – at these quilts that are so fun. what would i use it for? a picnic of course.
so for 4 months i kept putting it off & putting it off – unable to make a decision (as of course i analyzed it like i was going to be buried with it or something). yesterday, we went to the park – with no quilt. nothing to sit on at all in fact but the grass of the earth and the spiders of death. nonetheles, quilt or no quilt, it was my favorite picnic in tulsa yet – with 3 of the best guys i know.
we ate pei wei & tossed the football/frisbee & grabbed ice cream even as well. loved it.
saturday was filled with niece/nephew games & then an evening with one of my favorite friends as we contemplated love, life, and all that fabulousness while gazing at the stars with a glass of vino. absolutely lovely & hilarious.
i think i’m going to hold off on the quilt. i mean, there’s really only a month left of outdoor sitting. plus, i just can’t make a decision – they are all so lovely.
fallin
i love landon pigg. well, his song really. here’s the video of it…delightful
i have these grandeur dreams of all the fabulous people in my life that i will have met by the most random of circumstances. perhaps because that’s exactly how my life is – random. i do meet the most amazing people – everywhere – whether in tulsa or seattle or san diego or san antonio – i am better because of them.
last night i sat out on the front porch with my roomy for a few minutes dreaming of what could be. she laughed & said i had way too much time on my hands today. it was true. nonetheless, i figured it was about time for another ‘what if’ post. i’m so proud actually as many of the what if’s have been crossed off. so here’s to my new list!
what if i:
- started cooking more often
- made dinner for others every week
- became a sommelier
- stopped analyzing
- ate more appetizers
- was consistent with working out
- took a day trip to seattle
- moved to seattle
- went for a hike
- wrote a study
- drove without a destination
- was settled
- dressed up to the 9′s without a purpose
- learned how to just be
- let him see my heart
- fell in love (at a coffee shop would be delightful)
- moved on
- sold the house today
- had a blind date
- had a date
- tried out those restaurants ‘for dates only’ that i’ve wanted to for so very long
- balanced life consistently
- ate more sushi
- sat for the cmp credential
- went to more bonfires
- owned a dog
- traveled less
- worked 2 jobs
- gave gifts
- was more organized with my clothes closet & car
- seized each day like it was my last
i do love brainstorms. perhaps some will happen this year – perhaps not on others. i need goals, dreams, things i look forward to so i don’t go insane. i hope your what if’s are not stagnant – but that you strive for them with all your heart.
always
oh…sometimes i crack myself up. the messes i get myself into! ok, so all the time i crack myself up…it’s delightful.
i know i’ve mentioned this before, but last night was just too funny not to mention again. i love my job – the good, the bad, the ugly – all of it. love it. the most humorous aspect of my job is really the people i work with. 4 married women with multiple kids & grandkids. they crack me up. specifically when it comes to me & men. they just don’t know how to comprehend a single woman in today’s society i think. like they think i am a recluse or something that never gets out & thus the reason i must be single. so they do their due diligence to ‘help’ me. always. without fail. they try.
if we leave the office doors & go out in public i can always count on them finding a man to try to set me up with.
last night proved this true yet again. we went to eat at a fabulous restaurant here in tulsa – the waterfront grill – as the president of our association was in town. the second the single male waiter said hello i realized i was in for it. my boss, who let’s just say…places me with the oddest men (ie: the usps guy who was not even 18 i’m fairly sure of – or her 45 yr old best guy friend who ‘has a great personality & you’re both single!’) ahahahah…ok i digress…so she starts in & for the next 2 hours this waiter is hitting on me – shamelessly – in front of everyone. i’m fairly sure they don’t make blush as red as my face was. we did get 3 free desserts out of the deal. i, of course being crazy, tried to bet him that i could eat a whole (extremely large) dessert on my own & if i did he would have to comp the whole meal. he didn’t fall for my web – good effort though.
after the harrassment, i asked my president if her office had single women that they tried to set random men up with. she said no. what?? this isn’t normal?? she said the single women in her office are always looking for men themselves – like some sort of predator. that’s hilarious. and sad. ahh…anyway, she looked at all of us & said ‘it’s obvious you’ve been together as a staff a long time – as you all have such fun together & know each other so well’. yes, yes we always do – and have. 8 1/2 years. 9 years come march. wow.
i’ve always been blessed with my career…and i’m fairly sure i will always believe the people i work with are phenomenal. always.
nun-ery
i used to joke with jkm & bode that i wanted to join a nun-ery – or whatever they are really called. they would always laugh & then hesitate as they couldn’t tell if i was joking or not. there are some very viable perks to joining a convent that i’d like to point out:
- you’d never have to worry about what to wear in the morning
- you’d never have to worry about running out of makeup (this morning i ran out of mine which just emphasized this point as i’ll now be looked at like a freak for not wearing my zit-covering foundation…well, perhaps i just wouldn’t care as much as i don’t think it’s against the rules to wear it - if i was a nun people would just say ‘God bless sister’) moving on…
- you’d never be alone as they travel in packs (ok, perk and disadvantage both)
- you’d get to enjoy wine even more i feel like (the essence of it if that makes sense)
- food & housing would be taken care of as well as transportation anywhere
the number 1 reason this appeals to my heart SO much: i would never have to worry if a guy liked me, if he was going to make a move, if i was going to have to have bode beat him up for making the wrong move, if he was ‘the one’…
ahhh, of course i tease…sort of. one of my favorite people came over monday evening for some really great ‘front porch’ talks & he asked how my man situation was. the response that came out, unknowingly to my mind & heart, was that i was taking a dating hiatus. hahaha.
i mocked girls – almost every time – for saying that’s what they were doing. primarily because the girls that said that really weren’t dating in the first place. you cannot take a hiatus from something you don’t already do. however, the past year+ has been adventurous in the guy situations & perhaps for the next – i don’t know how long really – i will do just that…here i come hiatus. eek.
i will make exceptions, of course, should i have a dear guy friend that just really wants to take me to mahogany’s – the finest restaurant in tulsa – oooh or in the raw for sushi. that’s just the nice thing to do.
bittersweet
four years ago i bought a lovely house – wood floors & everything. i remember being so ‘awed’ by windows that you had to turn to get open. my ‘secret’ door that came out from within the wall. the windows however rarely are open due to insects and weather. the ‘secret’ door is now just a door. i still love it though.
ralph asked me before i bought the house if i could see myself living there & enjoying life for the next 3-5 years. i said yes. he said then money shouldn’t matter. money could never buy the adventure that i’ve had in it.
it’s time to move on though. last night was the last night *hopefully* that we had lifegroup in it. bittersweet. the lifegroup moved into the house shortly after i bought it – honestly the whole reason i bought it. i wanted to host a group so i bought a house. yeah, i might have been a tad rambunctious. the friendships that have formed & continue to form through it though – are worth every penny i’ve given to the bank.
chesley, stephanie, lindsey, kristen, morgan, amanda, chet, carl, bill, chad, michael, nathan, and the other 120 people in our email list that continues to grow each week. favorite memories of the group within the house: planning the rafting trip, easter two years ago & bocce ball in the backyard, chad always bringing a new aspect to the conversation, pre-group dinners with the girls, line dancing in the living room, countless parties, the guys who stay after group as they only stay to talk about their girl questions…it’s cute, pouring into the lives of those who walked thru the front door…
lindsey & kristen & i multiplied off of another group & i am so thankful for them as we began this adventure. we now have two locations with 5 completely new leaders & myself. i know in my heart we’re going to multiply again though – and again & again & again. because that’s how it’s supposed to be. not because a church told us to, but because healthy people grow – healthy groups grow.
i’m putting the house on the market next week. we’re praying it sells the first week. i’ve already called myself rambunctious therefore i don’t feel like i need to explain my craziness in that either.
the house itself is gorgeous to me. however, it’s the blessings and adventures that have captivated my heart these past 4 years.
God, i wait with great expectations for what you have in store for this one.
ocd-ness
this weekend was quite interesting. crazy fun. outlandishly surprising and overall stupendous.
friday night – oops. you’ll get no info here. besides that the palace café could be one of my most favorite restaurants in tulsa now. yep, that’s all you get. sworn to secrecy. just know that it was fabulous.
saturday – had lunch with two amazing friends, ran with lindz, tennis with kevin, and two-stepping with the rest of tulsa. as well as a minor awkward situation (of which, my amazing friend turned glorious), we enjoyed every moment.
so topic of today: how OCD are you? i really never thought i’m ocd on anything – at all. i’m ocd about not being ocd in fact. until i was recapping the weekend with my lovely roommate, and she gives me this look after telling her about said awkward moment above. to which i replied ‘i’m sorry! i’m ocd! i need people to like me!’. well, of course not everyone. for instance, crazy people. however, i really do hope everyone walks away from our time together thinking what a great time we had. these people include but are not limited to: grocery clerks, airport security, flight attendants, wait staff, anyone i’ve met previously, and anyone i may not have met yet. that just about covers it.
it’s not that they really have to like me though. it’s that they have to have a chance to see whether or not they like me. if they choose not to like me after our meeting then that’s their perogative. i walk away feeling like i missed an opportunity if i don’t get to meet everyone in the group. ahhh, it’s humorous. really. humorous.
so, whatever your ocd-ness may be…just know you’re not alone. we all have something i’m quite sure of, and in the end i hope you can laugh about it with your friends as well.
