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humbled
it’s not until you’re around selfless people for 5 days straight that you realize how selfish & self-focused you truly are. that’s how i felt this past week anyhow while i was in orange county with my family.
my cousins & family are amazing. i mean, truly God-given amazing. they could be angels and just not know it. ‘t’ is turning 24 this week & ‘e’ is turning 21 in april. they are beautiful both inside & out. their mother (my mom’s sister) is just as great.
they don’t care what they have – they give without hesitation. they also graciously receive.
t is married to aj – who fits right in with the fam. he is young, and full of aspirations and vigor. his momma taught him well on manners and chivalry. i couldn’t imagine a better man for my sweet, sweet cousin.
‘e’ is single, in college, and could put any girl in hollywood to shame with her style. she was in the grocery store & said ‘do you notice how everyone here dresses trendy?’ it’s like she doesn’t even know how she comes across. that’s what i love about her. she doesn’t see what’s on the outside, but the inside when getting to know you.
i found myself questioning every shirt, every pant, even shoes wondering if she’d think they were ‘cool’. then i remembered she didn’t invite me on the trip because of my awesome wardrobe collection (of 1 pair of jeans, 14 t-shirts, and 4 skirts i trade out days for work). i would have been last on the ‘trendy’ invite list obviously. it was hard as she is truly one of those people that looks good in everything. she loves & looks at the hearts of people only. how i love this child.
when it was time to say good-bye to my amazing family, my aunt hugged me & said ‘thanks for coming! it wouldn’t have been as great without you’. wow. what love. they didn’t have to invite me. they had nothing to gain from me being there. in fact, my aunt & new uncle paid for everything. they didn’t want my advice on life, they didn’t need to have an extra person there… they just wanted me – my presence with them. just like how we can’t give anything but thanks to God – He wants our presence with our whole hearts.
i am humbled by their love. may i love like they have.
change
this probably has been one of the fastest weeks for me. a friend of mine asked what i had on my agenda this week, so i told him:
selling my house, planning the next 6 months of my life in detail, organizing a conference, moving, giving everything i own away, presenting, and finally flying to l.a.
he responded: see, now that’s the problem you have bc, too much time on your hands.
i told him even though it was through email i’m sure he could feel the flaming glare thru the screen. he said he did.
they say the two most stressful events in life are having kids and moving. i’ve never experienced the former, but i would tend to agree on the later.
the memories that were created in my house have made me who i am. in fact, my most favorite memories lay within the walls of that house (and porch). lifegroup, bocci ball, dinner parties, prayers, front porch time, hammock time, climbing the big magnolia tree in the back, wine nights, roommate times, c&b time, two-stepping lessons, indoor soccer, and so much more. i pray the new guy enjoys it just as much as i have.
so here i am. moving on like i do. another trip, another plane. another city. another set of adventures to be had. i’m scared to death.
beer battered bread
so i feel like all i’ve talked about for two weeks…or four…has been about hawaii or moving. so, here’s a post about the easiest & best smelling bread for those “kitchen challenged” as i may or may not be…but more so may:
beer batter bread
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
4 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle beer
if you’re like me & you don’t drink beer, have a party where people who do drink it come over. then take one of their bottles. i promise it works. moving on.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9×5 inch loaf pan.
In a large mixing bowl, combine all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, baking powder, salt and brown sugar. Pour in beer, stir until a stiff batter is formed. It may be necessary to mix dough with your hands. Scrape dough into prepared loaf pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 50 to 60 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean.
i took this from an allrecipes.com recipe (per the caps i’m sure you knew)…but they are all alike. i like this one as i like to use whole wheat flour as it adds a bit of texture. love it. smell it. eat it. oh yes, and drown it in butter while it’s hot!
day of love
happy day of love.
i am so thankful for the amazing men in my life. i wrote each of them valentines cards – but per my m.o. they are still sitting on my coffee table. they shall get them though – about the 4th of july.
so here’s my alternative
thank you for your male influence that has so richly blessed my life…
cw – for your authentic, unashamed faith, for being my partner in crime on sunday mornings, and for our coffee times
jem – for your unconditional love for others – all the time and for your chivalry that never goes unnoticed though many times not thanked
kjv – for your realistic analytical nature, for your solid faith that is always backed up with truth, for being my adventurous friend, and for our ds mornings
tk – for your wisdom that is beyond your years, and for making my phone blow up this year with girls wanting to date you (sarcasm on the thankfulness there)
jph – for the wisdom you pour into the men in my life, for marrying one of my best friends, for the fun i’ve had harassing you, and for showing me what men of God live like
bb – for always having my back & wanting what’s best, for praying for my husband with me
rr – for being an amazing example of a man & how i’m supposed to be treated, for trying n you’re a great big brother
gd – for your insight & love that you & donna unconditionally give whether you see me cheery or in tears
ss – for being the most wonderful dad to my beautiful niece and nephews, for being a strong man for my best friend, and for your unswerving love of our God that resonates with all you come in contact with.
oh my could i list a hundred more. thank you to the men who make singleness a little bit more bearable and interesting – who love me. i can never express my love and thanks well enough. i can never tell you that too many times. i just sit in awe of this friendship God has allowed us to have. happy love day.
something big
do you ever get the feeling that something big is about to happen?? that you don’t know what it is, but you’re excited for it? that’s where i’m at. nervous. excited. hopeful.
here’s to the future – of what will be. oh, and here’s to the past – of what was:
mama c
it’s mama c’s birthday today!!! happy birthday mama c!!! let’s see here – so nuni (my grandma) turns 29 tomorrow so my mama must be 27 today as i’m holding fast to 26 (giggle, giggle).
fun quotes from mama c throughout my years:
“oh just kiss him – kissing fixes all sorts of issues”
“if you involve people in the event they will cherish it like it was their own”
“you just need a man – or a drink. probably both would do you well”
“ok! who’s up for a party?! i am!”
[singing] “dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt – da. dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt – da” – which is her happy dance tune while dancing like she’s in one of those mexican samba lines.
“what are you talking about? every day’s my birthday!”
“picture?! great! i want to be in the middle!”
“sorry. you probably called just to vent. another moment for unsolicited advice.”
and finally…the two main concepts about mama c that you must know:
- always have chocolate in the house when she visits
- don’t talk to her before she finishes her second cup of jo
here’s to my lovely mom that makes life so much more humorous than anyone can - happy birthday!
anniversary
tonight was a very lovely night – hard but lovely. i had dinner at my adopted (thru church) family. it’s their 20th year anniversary of marriage tomorrow. i’m getting teary eyed just thinking about it.
we were having a lovely pre-dinner chat & donna turns around & says ‘gary, help me clean off the table. we just won’t be able to eat with our stuff on it.’ i turn around & on one side of the table is a bible with a notebook & another book next to it. then there’s the center piece of the red poinsettia and on the other side is what looks like a mirrored image of the previous side: bible, notebook, other book. they both laughed & said how they like to do their studies in the same room. it looked so perfect. throughout dinner they told me words of wisdom (because i asked) about the secrets to a good marriage. things like they believe the other person didn’t mean to hurt them, they each have to give 150% because you’re in it together not for individual benefits, choose to remember the best about the other during frustrations, etc. it was lovely.
gary asked me if something was wrong & it was all i could do to not have an absolute breakdown. although, i did have tears & couldn’t speak. ok so i had a breakdown if you so choose to call it that. i finally choked out ‘it’s just that i know you guys have had troubles throughout your years, but i so desperately want a marriage as beautiful as yours’. one that forgives, one that looks at the good more than the frustrations, one that respects and loves, one that gives 150% because 50/50 just doesn’t cut it. one that gives, one that seeks the others good, one that pours into and out of, one that shows grace, one that is honest, one that grows, one that nurtures, one that doesn’t pester or control…and i know it exists because i’ve seen it for years in them.
it may be the holidays & it may be that i’m just having a girl moment & it may be that a blizzard is prohibiting my holiday travel plans. however, i will still want this next week, next year, even next decade. preferably on this side of eternity.
hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life ~ proverbs 13:12 esv
favorite things
it’s that time of year again where my body requires me to eat more so that hypothermia doesn’t set in from the frigid air…a.k.a. thanksgiving.
in the spirit of thankfulness here are some things i have been thinking about lately that make so very thankful:
- God, seriously, if He wasn’t my rock i’d be in a mental institute
- ac, she is one of my best friends & accountability partner, she tells me not just what i want to hear but what i need to hear.
- family time with both my adopted families. they’re amazing. wait, what’s better than amazing? that’s what they are. they are strong, courageous, tenderhearted, compassionate, givers, love unconditionally, and so much more.
- emails. chetlee emails me almost every day & not that we have tons of stuff to talk about or that it has depth every time – but it lets me know he cares about me & for me & vice versa. he has made my very small list of people i’d risk life for – along with my nieces and nephews & the mothers of them.
- ds, a rock for encouragement this gent is. always pulling me back in to what really matters & praying for me.
- ds with kjv ~ every week we have coffee group (really i just intrude on their group) & kjv & i stay after to discuss life ~ granted mostly relationships
- fall ~ it’s gorgeous here. i mean, strikingly gorgeous. where you are so caught off guard by the beauty that you unconsciously say ‘wow God!’
- my job ~ it’s perfect for me. there has been talk that it might change a bit, but where i am & where i’ve come from i am so thankful for it. i love the newness of trips.
- td – my group of girls that make my single life a little bit more exciting. they continually remind me that we live in one big adventure storybook & let’s be our own leads.
- downtime ~ i don’t get much of it, but when i do it’s glorious & i am thankful
- cb ~ an old friend that taught me many things in regards to church and relationships.
- people with servants hearts ~ i think they are the ones that make this world go round. they do without needing to be in control or receive accolades & they love by doing so. i’m thankful for these people.
- friends who pray for me and with me when i can’t form coherent sentences.
there are a thousand other things i am thankful for – just out of time for the moment. let’s reminisce about this soon. off to more adventures for now…
intriguing
last night i had dinner with the most fabulous couple – they have been married now 32 years. wow! kudos!!
we were talking about relationships in general & they pointed out that i have many guy friends. what they said next i found hilarious & intriguing.
i never hung out with a member of the opposite sex unless it was to make out with them…[or get to know if i wanted to make out with them which didn't take much time] ~ aj (emphasis my interpretation of the next words he said)
never? never ever? i would have about 98.9% of my friends gone if i lived like that. however, it does sound appealing.
they equated God’s pursuit of us & also our relationship with Him to relationships (no surprise there), but in a refreshing light. like there’s nothing that’s going to stop God from pursing me. nothing at all. He loves me and therefore i can trust Him wholeheartedly. so if a guy isn’t willing to be bold with me & pursue me then how can than trust be there?
a selfless love, bc. that’s what Christ has for us & that’s what we’re called to live out in marriage. the kind that says ‘ i want the best for you & i will put aside all else to have you’. ~ aj
i want that so bad. i want to live out in friendships & relationships a selfless love – as that’s what love is. greater love has no man than he that would lay down himself for a friend ~ JC
going back to the many guy friends thing – i’m not one to go cold turkey on this, but perhaps scaling it back a bit & nurturing the fabulous female friendships in my life is needed. start freeing your calendars gals as this social butterfly needs to fly!
cave
so come out of your cave walking on your hands
and see the world hanging upside down
you can understand dependence
when you know the maker’s hand~ mumford & sons
