BC's Blog
keeping coffee shops in business one sip at a timeparadise found
love hawaii. surprised? no, didn’t think so.
my friend nat came along with me this time. we’ve been having a fabulous past two days. here are some photos of our excursions…
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making more
i have a very analytical nature. as such, i tend to make more of the situation than what is probably truly there. my best friend, b, would always say, “bc, just let it be“. brilliant.
so last week i was picking my guy-friends brain on needing a date for this thing i’m going on. i wanted to ask this specific guy. it went something like this:
what if he doesn’t like me? what if he thinks it’s just another friend thing? what if i don’t want it to be more than friend thing? what if i do? what if i don’t know? does he pick me up? do i meet him there? i want him to pick me up though. who pays for dinner? i invited him, but we’re going out to dinner with 2 other couples. do i pay for us both? is that demeaning or norm these days? do i tell him it’s a date or just a thing? the other 2 are couples, would he feel too weird not knowing them really?
the reply from my guy-friend was:
glad to know at least one girl gets what the guys go through when asking a girl out. now, you are over-analyzing this. just ask him. it’s not the end of the world if he says no, right?
me:
yeah, you’re right. it’s not. be prepared if he says no though – you’re my backup & you will pay for dinner after putting me through all of this.
t-minus 3 weeks before the big night. we’ll see. so much could happen really. nothing like a good week on of paddleboarding & sea turtle sightings to clear the mind.
molding
the other night my friend & i were chatting at a local dive. we were talking how the situations we’re in we didn’t anticipate them being the way they are.
she’s married & the house they live in isn’t the house with the white picket fence she’d dreamed about. the debt they had incurred before marriage & now trying to pay off isn’t what went with the ‘give everything to the poor’ philosophy she had known. most of all, the issues with pregnancy isn’t what ‘having a family’ was supposed to endure. i sympathized with her as with some events in my life i hadn’t foreseen either.
what was surprising was that neither of us were bitter. we don’t know why we have been given the loads we have. it’s not the life we had envisioned, but we are fed, we are provided for, and at the end of day i have a very lovely heating blanket bed to crawl into. there are approximately 1 in 2 americans are now considered poor or low-income. i don’t know how to handle that.
i may weep tears for events that God allows to come into my life, but i know His love for me doesn’t sway thru anything. i’m being molded & though it’s not exactly pleasant – i will rejoice.
one of my best friends in high school paraphrased habakkuk 3:17-19 & i’m about to do the same:
though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
though the house should not sell nor flowers stay alive
though the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
though the men say ‘i just don’t feel like dating’ and the rest just want a counselor
though the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
though my life isn’t in the place i thought it would be nor the money coming in as it should be
yet i will rejoice in the Lord;
i will take joy in the God of my salvation.
yet i will rejoice in the Lord;
i will take joy in the God of my salvation.
mama c
it’s mama c’s birthday today!!! happy birthday mama c!!! let’s see here – so nuni (my grandma) turns 29 tomorrow so my mama must be 27 today as i’m holding fast to 26 (giggle, giggle).
fun quotes from mama c throughout my years:
“oh just kiss him – kissing fixes all sorts of issues”
“if you involve people in the event they will cherish it like it was their own”
“you just need a man – or a drink. probably both would do you well”
“ok! who’s up for a party?! i am!”
[singing] “dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt – da. dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt – da” – which is her happy dance tune while dancing like she’s in one of those mexican samba lines.
“what are you talking about? every day’s my birthday!”
“picture?! great! i want to be in the middle!”
“sorry. you probably called just to vent. another moment for unsolicited advice.”
and finally…the two main concepts about mama c that you must know:
- always have chocolate in the house when she visits
- don’t talk to her before she finishes her second cup of jo
here’s to my lovely mom that makes life so much more humorous than anyone can - happy birthday!
beautiful friends
there are a few different categories lately for friendships that i’ve noticed (of course using ocean analogies, what else?):
- the drifting
these are the ones that come & go & it’s nice to see them, but they don’t seem to mind the fading in and out so you don’t either. your inner circle can’t contain the world and these people get it – yet you still enjoy hanging with them when you do.
- the rocky shore
these are those that seem great on the surface, but underneath it’s unstable & almost toxic to your emotional health. yet the surface seems so fine that you don’t really think to paddle away from these – until you fall off your board & realize how painful they are. these seem to turn to you only for their needs & in the end have little care about your life.
- the bay
there is an amazing bay called hanauma bay in oahu. it’s so tranquil & yet impressive beyond words. you can’t give back to the bay – you can only enjoy & savor it. these are the friendships you pull from. the ones that you realize you could never return the joy that they’ve brought into your life, and you pray every day that you become just like them.
- the sailboats
these, these are the magnificent. the ones that you want to share with the world & at the same time hold them all to yourself they are so great. these are the friendships that last forever and ever – even when you do the stupidest things. they are the essence of love. you may not see them a lot or you may all the time, but either way there is deep love & respect for one another’s path – though they may differ. they are your inner circle. the few that know the depths of your heart & love you in spite of it. they’re the ones who call you when they’re broke down 100 miles away & you say ‘hang on, i’m on my way’ – and you make a roadtrip of it coming home. they’re the ones you fly across the world to see – for a wedding, a baby, or just to say hi. they’re the ones that text you random thoughts – just so you know you’re loved.
no doubt we all fall into one of these areas at some point or another. the other night i spent time with an old friend of mine who falls as sailboat. my friend reminded me of so many beautiful things about friendship. i don’t do a lot of things right in friendships, but i have the most amazing close friends that allow me to go on & on about boys i’ll never have a chance with, places i’ll never actually move to, or wines that they’ll never like. oh how God lavishes His love – in friendships.
T-minus…
11 days. that’s it. then i’m back in paradise.
a surprising turn of events in my life this past week , i was offered the opportunity to move – unfortunately to a place very, very cold. most people would love this city, but it’s just not where my heart is. could i grow to like it? possibly. it’s not on my 2012 list though. probably not on any list at this point.
it did get me thinking about cost of living in various places that i would consider lovely. their requirements (has to have at least 2 of these):
- beach
- beach + mountains
- love of coffee
- love of wine
- culturally diverse
- has destinations nearby worth taking the drive for
- no hurricane’s
as you can probably guess, any destination with any of this will be costly – but worth it. it’s all talk for now. too bad the one who offered me the move couldn’t be located in one of these! until then tulsa serves just nicely.
unfortunately this may be my last beach trip for a bit. they’re sending me up north the rest of the year – which will be nice come june. here’s to 11 more days in the arctic!
beginnings
my two days of hermitage is going quite well. oh wait, back the train up. i’ve been to arizona, kansas, and colorado in the past 3 weeks…nonstop fun & enjoyment of course. however, like all great things – they MUST end…i mean come to an end. therefore i do love days when the only thing i have to get up for is to turn the coffee pot on & make my kashi oatmeal.
new years eve. moments passing before the start of a new beginning. isn’t that an oxymoron though? new beginning? aren’t all beginnings new? until this past one that is. i was at a friends house going thru her bookshelf & i find this book that intrigues me. it talks about the proverbs 31 man. that’s right – man not woman.
it happens to be written by one of my favorite authors – michelle mckinney hammond. she’s not only a good author, but she’s also an amazing single person to look up to.
anyway, as i was going thru this book i realized that last new years i did a study on my own about what a biblical husband looks like thru proverbs 31. i feel like this past year has been nothing less than interesting in my dating life so it made me laugh thinking that this ‘new beginning’ really wasn’t that new. in fact, it’s the same thing i did last year – which is what i also did the year before that! have you heard the definition of insanity?
insanity: doing the same thing over & over the same way yet expecting different results.
nice. the past two years – in regards to dating – have led me to the same men resulting in the same heartbreak. i’m insanity dating. yay. me. no no no…that bus stops in 2011 – it’s not moving into 12.
so here we are the new year. the newness of leaving the past behind and moving forward. new beginnings. it’s a double positive. there will be something new. there will be a beginning.
however, 2011 was the highlight of my travel career. i couldn’t keep up with crossing things off my bucket list & also just plain crazy adventures: hot air ballooning over napa valley, touring napa as i did to sonoma the year before, going to the beaches of jacksonville, breaking into prison (not out of), driving down to monterrey to see my best friend & new niece, two nieces being born!, lifegroup multiplying, biking in minnesota, seeing God’s country in la crosse, being able to spend dinner with my grandma on her birthday for the first time in years, going to hawaii – and ALL that that entailed (paddle boarding, hiking bamboo forest, sea turtles, north shore, hanauma bay, surfer dudes, kona coffee, etc), st thomas for thanksgiving, arizona for warmth in december, and finally a very white Christmas in pueblo. oh my gosh it was a thrilling year!! plus all my very adventurous dates…
so 2012, though i don’t have a clue as to what you will be like – i do know that you will be different. for there are only a few things that stay the same: what brand of hair products and deodorant i buy is one…however, above all else, the grace & love of God…every year, no matter what insanity i bring to the table, He unconditionally lavishes His love on me.
anniversary
tonight was a very lovely night – hard but lovely. i had dinner at my adopted (thru church) family. it’s their 20th year anniversary of marriage tomorrow. i’m getting teary eyed just thinking about it.
we were having a lovely pre-dinner chat & donna turns around & says ‘gary, help me clean off the table. we just won’t be able to eat with our stuff on it.’ i turn around & on one side of the table is a bible with a notebook & another book next to it. then there’s the center piece of the red poinsettia and on the other side is what looks like a mirrored image of the previous side: bible, notebook, other book. they both laughed & said how they like to do their studies in the same room. it looked so perfect. throughout dinner they told me words of wisdom (because i asked) about the secrets to a good marriage. things like they believe the other person didn’t mean to hurt them, they each have to give 150% because you’re in it together not for individual benefits, choose to remember the best about the other during frustrations, etc. it was lovely.
gary asked me if something was wrong & it was all i could do to not have an absolute breakdown. although, i did have tears & couldn’t speak. ok so i had a breakdown if you so choose to call it that. i finally choked out ‘it’s just that i know you guys have had troubles throughout your years, but i so desperately want a marriage as beautiful as yours’. one that forgives, one that looks at the good more than the frustrations, one that respects and loves, one that gives 150% because 50/50 just doesn’t cut it. one that gives, one that seeks the others good, one that pours into and out of, one that shows grace, one that is honest, one that grows, one that nurtures, one that doesn’t pester or control…and i know it exists because i’ve seen it for years in them.
it may be the holidays & it may be that i’m just having a girl moment & it may be that a blizzard is prohibiting my holiday travel plans. however, i will still want this next week, next year, even next decade. preferably on this side of eternity.
hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life ~ proverbs 13:12 esv
spinning
ummm, what happened? 9 days until Christmas?? that’s madness. bloody madness. my head is spinning.
ok, so it’s been a been a fabulous trip to az this week – a few days of 70 degrees never hurt anybody. my body is thankful for the vitamin d.
let’s review the high & low for the week (we used to do this in college with some girlfriends of mine – oh the fun)
high: being told…
bc, you can’t help being attractive
this after i was complaining that only men my dad’s age seem interested. it was more than flattering though.
low: ha, well, i guess this is a good thing – i really can’t think of one.
in fact, i can think of about 3 more really great high’s for the week: txt’s/chat’s from cutie’s, dinner at the elephant bar (my fav restaurant that closed down a few years ago), and a new pair of shoes to go with my magic dress (the dress that no matter what my mood is amazing).
this was such a great week. i didn’t have anywhere to be. i didn’t have any responsibilities besides my job. i truly enjoyed this week so much. next week will be great too – back in the swing of things. for tonight though, i’m enjoying my last few moments of just being here & meeting new people. i’m truly blessed.
purple mountains majesty indeed
o holy night
my church is doing a carols theme for the Christmas season. as such, i think posting carols is a fabulous way to start off the week…imagine being there…
o holy night! the stars are brightly shining,
it is the night of the dear savior’s birth.
long lay the world in sin and error pining.
till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.
a thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
fall on your knees!
oh, hear the angel voices!
o night divine,
the night when Christ was born
oh yes, and the best video rendition ever to be made
